Wanna Break Free

I hate my mom. I just dont understand. Why am i more afraid of her than of God?? Why can't she let me go? I know my priorities. Dont keep tellin me to do things your way. I wanna live for myself. Not for anyone. Yes, you gave me life. But not because you wanted to. Dont peach to me that my mom loves me and all. You think she seriously does? I havent quite seen a mother like mine. She lives for herself. Nobody else. She's like a caged-bird waiting to break free from the family. Whatever, i dont give a piece of shit about you. Be thankful i even have the energy to be pissed at you mom. If i die anytime soon, you'll be damned for the rest of your life. Cause you didnt give me what i want. Its not unreasonable can? You just want things your way. It doesnt make sense like half the time. We keep giving in to you. Cause your voice is so powerful. More powerful than God's. Love comes with hate. And i hate you.

And you. Who do you take me for? Come as and when you want. I wont be here all the time. Be grateful i can't let you go for the time being. When i can, dont come cryin to me. I understand what you're doing cause im doing it as well. Its human nature. But there's a limit to everything. Im angry and upset now. But my mood changes each minute. Hour. Day. Yes, i jolly well know i wont be angry at you for long. Think im a weakling. Will i ever be able to let you go one day. Dont know, i all i can say. Isnt that what you can say as well? Thats what both of us can say the best. Mutually doing something at a spur of moment and then everything might just disappear the next. I dont mind. Of course we avoid certain topics. I dont wanna touch on it as well. I'm growing to be like you. And i just friggin realised that. Shit.

You. Dont ask me if im ok. I am. About my blog, dont ask if i dont tell you. Can get irritating if people fuss over my blog content. I know you care. But sometimes, leavin me alone does help me. Haha. Saw that show. Guess what? Think i understand a bit more. You gave alot, but yet can't help feeling vulnerable. Yes. I got what they meant. Im feel like this too sometimes. Not for you, but on a certain someone. Guess you can tell. I rather hurt someone than to risk getting hurt myself. Im selfish. So what?

My life is normal. But it can be like rotten corpse when i dig every piece of shit out of "behind my head". Fcukit. That's the problem when i keep escaping. Im obsessed with escaping. I love that kinda feelin No gor, im NOT in love. Just mad. =)) Hurhur.