week 11 The Silent Miscarriage

What filled our hearts was sadness and loss during the checkup this morning.
Strangely, my weight dropped even more this week, bringing it to 41.4kg today.
There wasn't any sign of miscarriage and i suffered from moments of morning sickness the past 3 weeks.
Foetus was still measuring 8 weeks today and no heartbeat could be detected.

We did both US and transvaginal to confirm, but there was nothing.
He couldn't pick out blood flow near the fetus and noticed jagged uterus walls.
Gynae was certain the pregnancy is unhealthy and chromosomal abnormalities being the likely cause of the miscarriage. He assured me it is nothing to do with what i eat or what i have been doing or what i have not done. Every miscarriage case is an isolated event and many go on to have successful pregnancies. And so, we were scheduled for the procedure on Thursday to clear my uterus :(

We loved the baby the moment she was formed in my womb.
How the news tore our heart and soul to pieces..
We wanted this baby so much, but now we have to give her back to the Lord.

God gives, God takes away.
God is faithful like He has always been and we trust His plans are always good.
I know my every tear matters to Him and He will bring us comfort, strength, peace and restore my health and joy.

But my heart is grieving.
We can only put our hope and trust in God, that in His time, He will make all things beautiful for us.
God is still good, and we stand on His promises, He will go through this with us.
"He will turn my mourning into dancing".