week 12

Hi guys!
I've endured 7 weeks of morning sickness!
Lost a bit of weight, standing at 42.3kg now.
But baby's heart is beating healthily at 168bpm (:
Still at a loss whether to go for Oscar/Harmony test.
But i have to do my compulsory blood test next week, freak out please.

Gagging continues, puking decreased, i try to avoid vomit triggers like durian, onion, garlic, fried food smell, hawker centre, coffee shop.
Recently, cannot stand the smell of my mother's chinese cooking.
I try to brush my teeth at lightning speed because i cannot tolerate the toothpaste taste either.

Diet wise, I'm still quite picky. I prefer food like sandwich, green apples or thick soups.
Sometimes i want to eat a certain food, but once its placed in front of me, i lose my appetite immediately. Basically i eat like a mouse now.
Hoping the morning sickness starts to ease this coming week so i can start enjoying pregnancy and indulge in all the food!

Dr Poon started me on Fish Oil supplement.
Why is it so expensive!! $45 a bottle of 30 capsules.........
I have to continue with my Folate, Iron and Calcium pills. That's still 4 pills in total.

My BP is always on the higher side, but after seeing the doctor, it normally drops to 114-134.
I guess thats anxiety and excitement all at the same time.
Waited 2 hours to see him today, so we took our time with consultation, bombing him with a list of questions. Had a horrible headache last night which kept me up, sleeping position is not comfortable (back/left side...nothing works), gotta clear my bladder at least once every night.

Immensely grateful Marcus buys me food i want to eat, and he helps me to finish my leftovers.
I cannot stand the way i feel on most days, eeky, sicky, pukey, all grossed out.

Today's breakdown $194+:

Consultation: $65
Scan: $60
Urine Test: $5
Iron pill: $7
Fish oil: $45

Here's an ultrasound of buttercup. He/she is sleeping in a curled up position so Dr Poon couldn't capture a good photo after trying many times. Which means the measurement is not accurate today either. Its ok baby, just sleep and grow well for Daddy and Mummy ok xoxo

week 10: Morning Sickness at its peak

Hi guys! I am into my 10th week of pregnancy.
The past week has been a trying one; felt nauseated all week long, puking & gagging away.
Still, i force myself to eat and drink for the sake of the little life inside me.

Currently standing at 42.6kg, Dr Poon wasn't impressed with my weight loss.
Not so easy to gain with my lack of appetite :(
Baby measures slightly past the 3cm mark. That's double the length, 2 weeks ago.
His heart beats strong and rapidly.

This time, i was a little more calm during the appointment.
Morning sickness was super dampening on my spirits and making my days unproductive.
Marcus have been extremely caring and patient with me.
I am so so so loved.

These days, i take a minimum of 2 hours nap, twice a day.
When i'm not sleeping, i pray, listen to worship songs, stone, get some work done.
No serious cravings for anything.
If i can complete a meal, that itself is an achievement.
I absolutely detest the taste of toothpaste, durian, garlic, onions and anything too overpowering.

Being the first patient of the day, Dr Poon seems quite unsettled (his messy morning hair haha).
He still answered our questions patiently and i brought up concerns about all the medicine i had been given since the last consultation. We discussed and changed some.

Folate, Cativ D3, Ironyl (changed to Neogobion) and lastly Utrogeston (changed to Duphaston).
Its causing me depression just taking that many pills.
The side effects are no joke.
However, he was insistent that i should continue the supplements.
So i will continue to be good until the end of my 1st Trimester.
Really taking it one day at a time now.

Will be taking blood test in 2 weeks time to test for HIV, blood count, blood type and a whole bunch of other stuffs. Ahhh i do hate needles and pain.
It will prove of those pills work in increasing my blood count.
I think we are not too keen on the down syndrome tests, so might skip it.
We are keeping the baby regardless, and we place our trust in Him.

2nd appointment cost us $190+ including GST, a few dollars short of $200.

Consultation: $65
Ultrasound $60
Urine test $5 (for gulcose level)
A bunch of medicine ranging $7-40

Ouch.

I know i promised a photo of my baby bump but i realised it can't be seen in photos yet.
I still look flat in the front but top view seems to be changing (noticed only by myself haha).

So here's a nice photo Dr Poon captured:
Wiggly hands and feet.
I can see his happy belly hehe.
Grow up healthily and well baby, xoxo!

If only they had such a heart to fear Me and keep all My commands, so that they and their children will prosper forever.
Deu 5:29

Dr Poon King Fu Review

I wish we had known about Dr Poon earlier.
A good friend Amy recommended us to him recently.
He was so reassuring, friendly, and he made us feel comfortable immediately.

Today marks 7 weeks (8 maybe), its always +5 -5 approximately.
Praise the Lord we saw growth, development and heard the heartbeat.
God is so so so good (:

Dr Poon answered our questions patiently, he explained what i should avoid, how the husband can take care of me, i just feel so assured to have him taking care of me now. Grateful and thankful God directed us to the right doctor and friends.

Its better to make an appointment in advance because i got rejected 2 weeks ago. Their schedule was full for the day and i got turned away. Made an appointment to see him at 1045, saw him only at 1115. Wasn't too long a wait but i was super kanchiong to see the little one!! Technology and clinic environment is standard, ultrasound photo turned out very clear. He also checked my Blood Pressure and stomach before the scan. Dr Phua did none of these. I would think there's more privacy as compared to Dr Phua at Kovan.
Dr Poon delivers at Mount E Novena too, so we are definitely excited!!

Dr Poon makes his morning rounds at the hospital before stepping into clinic after 10am.
Some waiting is expected if there are emergencies at the hospitals.

Bottom line, we highly recommend Dr Poon. He's godly, confident and thorough with his explanations without much promptings. I could tell he was equally as happy when he scanned me this morning, he even said Thank God and smiled when he saw the little one. Which made me extra happy to know my doctor is optimistic like we are.

Below is a breakdown of our 1st visit (excludes GST):

Consultation: $80
Scan: $60
Urine test: $5
Medicine: $5-7

I would say it slightly on the pricer side for a neighbourhood clinic.
Almost like Dr Kowa charges over at Mount E.
But we do feel like we are in good hands this time.
Lord, please continue to bless Marcus in his ministry and career so we can afford the checkups :b

As of today, i really detest durians and meat.
Bloatedness and morning sickness continues but it seems much better already.
I experience extreme fatigue on some days. But not a problem since i don't bake on a daily basis. Im positively sure i have a baby bump, its still flat-looking but i feel the difference already. When you are more tone, its harder to see a bump. Will provide a baby bump photo on my next entry after my 10th week checkup. Stay tune!

Update 26 Feb 2016: Dr Poon King Fu is honestly our best decision ever (:
Mention my name (Shanice) if you are going to visit him.
He will be extra extra extra extra friendly with you haha

week 5: Are you married?

"Yes i am."

That was the question by Dr Phua, our recent gynae.
Same one during my 1st pregnancy which ended on the 11th week with a D&C last year.

Well, good news!
I am 5 weeks pregnant.
Next appointment is in 2 weeks time, hopefully the little one will grow healthily till full term.
I'm casting away all negative thoughts on this pregnancy.

Am prescribed Utrogestan to stabilise the pregnancy, and the usual folic acid.
Morning sickness hasn't really kicked in yet, or rather, its not as bad as the last year's.
If all is well, we will have a March 2016 baby!
Same month as our wedding anniversary.

We are very thankful and extremely happy.
Thank you God!
If you are reading this, pray for us! (:

Unsubscribe

I guess thats what i did immediately.

Unsubscribe to all pregnancy mailing lists, cancelled all the maternity tours, deleted iPhone apps, put away the one and only pregnancy gift from Faith.

Read up on D&C procedure and ended up freaking myself out.

I know we can try again, thats hardly the point.
My flesh died, my heart is in pain.
It wouldn't be half as bad if not for the pregnancy hormones that are making me emotional and the continuous replay of baby's heartbeat 3 weeks ago in my mind.

I am at peace that God is with us every step of the journey and He is a gracious God. He wouldn't have allowed an unhealthy pregnancy to happen, just that the baby wasn't fit enough for survival and He definitely have bigger and better plans for us.

Am grateful for the support and prayers given to myself and Marcus during this period.

week 11 The Silent Miscarriage

What filled our hearts was sadness and loss during the checkup this morning.
Strangely, my weight dropped even more this week, bringing it to 41.4kg today.
There wasn't any sign of miscarriage and i suffered from moments of morning sickness the past 3 weeks.
Foetus was still measuring 8 weeks today and no heartbeat could be detected.

We did both US and transvaginal to confirm, but there was nothing.
He couldn't pick out blood flow near the fetus and noticed jagged uterus walls.
Gynae was certain the pregnancy is unhealthy and chromosomal abnormalities being the likely cause of the miscarriage. He assured me it is nothing to do with what i eat or what i have been doing or what i have not done. Every miscarriage case is an isolated event and many go on to have successful pregnancies. And so, we were scheduled for the procedure on Thursday to clear my uterus :(

We loved the baby the moment she was formed in my womb.
How the news tore our heart and soul to pieces..
We wanted this baby so much, but now we have to give her back to the Lord.

God gives, God takes away.
God is faithful like He has always been and we trust His plans are always good.
I know my every tear matters to Him and He will bring us comfort, strength, peace and restore my health and joy.

But my heart is grieving.
We can only put our hope and trust in God, that in His time, He will make all things beautiful for us.
God is still good, and we stand on His promises, He will go through this with us.
"He will turn my mourning into dancing".

week 10, day 3

I think its more of a food bump/bloat than baby bump.
But i do see something! :b
For once i'm excited to look big and fat and round like a whale!
It's gonna be so worth it.
Haha goodbye abs and bikinis!

This week, the foetus is the size of a prune and muscles are beginning to function.
Am looking forward to gynae visit in 5 days time!
I wanna see my baby kick and squirm.

During breakfast yesterday, i poured 2 glasses of milk. One for Marcus and the other one for myself. He went ahead to grab the bigger glass and i snatched it back from him, loudly declaring "I AM DRINKING FOR 2!". Haha, not quite but i just want the bigger glass!

Balanced meal is still a huge challenge. Every day, every meal.
Why am i such a fussy eater!
However, the queasiness and bloatedness sort of died down a little this week. Thank God!
I'm looking forward to 2nd trimester already!
Just wanna enjoy this journey i'm privileged enough to be blessed with (:

Broke the good news to Quad during Jen's housewarming last week.
Super blessed by Faith who bought me this book which i've been searching for, high and low.
Thank you for the lovely surprise!

I don't wanna appear bias, of course i prefer a baby girl but a baby boy works as well. A healthy, happy baby will do. God will give us what we need, so we will be thankful anyhows. Just thinking of a million and one baby girl names at this point, and i'm definitely leaning more towards the classic chic british names. The sooner we know the gender, the earlier we can address the fetus by his/her name and do targeted shopping. We are still some time away from week 20, and we cannot wait to reveal your gender during Christmas gatherings.

Baby, Dadee and Mummy love you a lot. We have been praying for you daily and Dadee has been kissing you, (i wish i can bend over) can you feel our love? (:

God's timing is divine

God isn't bound by time like we are, He can see straight into the future.
All I asked for was regular period and good health so that we can pray for God's timing to bless us with a baby in the future.
And He gave us more than we ever asked for.
Isn't it amazing? (:

God has a plan for my baby's life, in His appointed time.
God works on our behalf when we pray, thats how the spiritual law works.
God works through prayers, and prayers work.
God's power is released when we pray.
Ask, just ask.

We were sharing with each other how this child came so perfectly timed even though our 5 room BTO wouldn't be completed till 2016:

1) we still have the energy to run after the kid
2) we were living under our parents' roof and that means extra help with a newborn
3) my Godma stays on the 9th floor and she is a great nanny and cook
4) i am currently not working so full attention can be given to the baby
5) we can design the kid's room when renovation starts instead of leaving it empty
6) baby will be almost 1 year old by the time we move into our new nest, that, i am comfortable with handling her on my own by then
7) i wanted a baby before i hit the big 3 and I'm well ahead of schedule now

We believed God wanted our child to be here by 2015 and to be a part of His divine purpose and plan. Other than a healthy pregnancy, i am challenged to put my anxiety and fears aside, to free myself of all ungodly eating habits and to pray for more wisdom and help to bring our child up in a loving and godly fashion so that he/she will grow to love God deeply and serve Him wholeheartedly.

We dated for 7 months before Marcus popped the question, got married 22 months into our courtship and on the 37th month our family will officially expand! Other than being financially, spiritually and emotionally ready at those particular seasons, it really felt like our life together was being led by the Spirit and accordingly to God's perfect timing. There was no struggle and we knew He was with us every second of the way.

If you are waiting for a breakthrough, a miracle, an answer, I want to encourage you, never give up. God hears your prayer, He never forgets, He is working on whats best for you and all He is asking for is Faith.

Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.
Romans 10:17

I'm beginning to like the name Faith a lot :b

week 9, day 3

This is my baby bump for the week, not much development or that of a bump.
I am still fighting fatigue, bloatedness and some crazy bouts of morning sickness (not limited to just morning but throughout the day).
I can feel my heart pumping hard even when i sleep, the strange dreams go on and on each night and my skin is really bumpy the past few weeks.

I lie in bed a lot, thinking of names for my little one, praying, watching videos, browsing baby websites, too excited to start shopping. Once the gender is revealed, i assure you the shopping will be crazy. But what's important for myself and the baby right now is to strengthen our relationship with God.

There's a lot going on with the growth and development of the foetus on the 9th week. Uterus is expanding to accommodate the growing peanut, my heart is working overtime to supple oxygen and bloodflow to her, and certainly, my pregnancy hormones are all over the place. Hopefully my placenta takes over the job of nourishing my baby soon so the morning sickness will faded away quick.

Pardon me, i will just call the fetus a 'her' until we know the gender for certain, sometime further in the 2nd trimester.

Pregnancy is hard, its awful with morning sickness. I am still trying to cope with what i eat, which is a major challenge. As much as our body is designed for pregnancy and labour, i am still struggling with the changes. Just have to be very positive about it and listen closely to what my body requires. I believe God will prepare me for this miracle, open up truths from His word that will comfort and challenge me to become even more of the woman, the mother He designed me to be.

I marvel at this miraculous creation He is even forming within me and i am THAT grateful, THAT honoured to be chosen. There's an important task He has laid before me-the gift of motherhood.

What a privilege!

I chose you before I formed you in the womb; I set you apart before you were born
Jeremiah 1:5

week 8, day 3

What have I been up to lately?

1) monitoring my diet and nutrient intake (that includes taking my folic pill regularly)
2) looking up maternity fashion on ASOS.COM
3) reading lots of reviews and blogs on hospital packages/other couples sharing their pregnancy journey
4) interceding and praying daily for the baby

How i have been feeling lately?

1) tired
2) queasy in my stomach before/after meals
3) mildly uncomfortable in the lower abdomen area (could be uterus stretching to accommodate the growing fetus)
4) food aversion continues..

This is me at 8 weeks, 42kg. Lost a bit of weight last month due to morning sickness.
I feel my body changing. Hormones are acting crazy on my skin, outbreaks on my arm. Strange or what? Even though most of you might argue I'm still very flat and skinny in the above photo, i know the belly is already starting to bulge. It was way flatter than this in July, even though i may be 1kg heavier then.

Today, we celebrate our 7th monthsary since we got married in March.
Marriage is an intentional daily decision to see the gold in Marcus, intentionally surprising him, making him happy, loving him, intentionally building each other up, intentionally forgiving him, intentionally putting his needs first, intentionally giving each other space to grow and for him to lead the household, intentionally keeping peace, intentionally making time for dates - basically everything that goes against the grain of what being single meant previously.
Sounds tough but we are not meant to do this alone - Jesus Himself teaches us to do all that, and more. Marriage is an avenue for His grace to shape us - and still shaping!

I will be documenting my pregnancy journey here weekly, appreciate any sort of advise or prayers if you come across my humble blog (:

Standing on the promises of God

And so i have been sick for almost 3 weeks now.
1st week: 1-7 Sept 2014 was nauseousness and lose of appetite.
2nd week: 8-14 Sept 2014 was still nauseous and i couldn't eat much though on good days i managed to take a full meal. Craved for coke and anything cold. There was excessive burping and bloated-ness. Took the husband's advise and when to see a GP, which he diagnose me with lazy stomach/stomach flu. I remember sleeping my week away..
3rd week: 15-21 Sept 2014 though i was much better, it was unstable. I experienced frequent nauseousness and food aversion. I can no longer stand the smell of garlic which i used to love :( in fact, i found everything smelly. Opening the fridge was a horror and a terrible assault to my nostrils.
4th week: 22-29 Sept 2014 Am starting to move around more and less bed-ridden. I begin to stomach my meals better though the bloated-ness is there all the time.

As seen, we got suspicious because i've missed my period for 2 months and the symptoms are so similar to being pregnant. Having PCOS, missing my periods wasn't uncommon. Decided to get a pregnancy test strip kit from Guardian. I got Marcus to purchase the cheapest in the market. I mean if my hCG level is high, any kit works. This particular kit cost about $8 for 2 testers.

27 Sept: the positive result showed up very quickly on the strip. My heart nearly raptured. I was so happy, same time doubts entered almost immediately. Sure a not? I mean, yeah we agreed to try for a baby but i didn't think it was going to be easy because of irregular periods, it was tricky to calculate when my body is ovulating. I decided to test again the next morning.

28 Sept: yet again another obvious positive result. It was quick. Happened within seconds although the box said it could take up to 5 minutes. It wasn't a blur line or faded line. It was clear, 2 lines meaning its positive. I am pregnant!

29 Sept: Went to the nearest gynae clinic for confirmation. We saw our baby's head and rump, heard her heartbeat loud and clear (160 per min). It was such a special moment for us. She is 8 weeks as of today, measures 1.68cm and is expected to arrive on the 11 May 2015. Was certainly a very touching moment for both of us. We are so thankful for this precious gift and life planted inside me (:

Jubilee baby (: (:
Praise the Lord!
We did receive prayers for a baby during prayer meetings and from individual church friends, we also prayed for God to bless us with a child when the time is right. Though we are not rushing to start a family, i feel defeated every time my period don't come. It can only mean i can't track or plan for a baby. But God reminds me to seek the Giver, not the gift. I had to trust and wait on Him to restore my health.

Even before we head to the gynae this morning, i had defeating thoughts of whether the sac is in the right position, whether the heartbeat will be picked up by the gynae and if i will carry her to full term. I want to bring all these negative thoughts to the foot of the cross and declare life and blessings over the little one growing inside me. I want to focus on the good promises of the Lord and also count my every blessings. I want to claim a healthy pregnancy, in Jesus' name. I want to surrender all my fears and concerns unto You, i want to speak life, protection and love over the fetus. We praise God because this baby is wonderfully and fearfully made by Him!

God has blessed me with a loving and selfless husband even though i barely deserved it. The past few weeks have been awful but he did everything to make me feel better. There is so much to be thankful for.. God continued to grow and develop the fetus even when i couldn't eat or drink much the last 3 weeks. I'm so glad i will be done with the 1st trimester in 4 weeks time.

We praise God for watching over our precious peanut and continue to trust that He will guide the development of this precious life. God is faithful! Always and forever.

“Being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father.”