I am scared.

It was 5ish in the morning.
I slept at 2.45am after supper with friends.
Faith's surprise party earlier on.

Grandma passed on.
She returned home only 7 hours before.
I was shaking as i see him breakdown in front of me in the dark.
We have never seen Dadee cried his lungs out.
It scared me.
I'm so thankful my older sister is there to hold him.
We all will..

Dr Martens

Shoes, fancy hair accessories driving me crazy these days!!

Regular

Hate periods.

Hate the bulging "tummy".
Hate the zits.
Hate the swollen breasts.
Hate the feeling lethargic.
Hate the mood swing.
Hate the cramps.
Hate the pads.

Hate periods.

--

Addicted to kiwi fruit and baby wipes.

--

Faith came over today (:
We had a good talk and mobtv-ed the afternoon away.
Thanks for your company!

Angele -> hehe, thank you! the more your practice, the better it becomes (: i'm reading Picoult's Handle with Care. So far so good!! hehe..

Altered Art - Mini Mail Box

Joy is doubled and sorrow is halved when shared.

Ana is sucha beautiful babygirl (:
I'm so jealous she's a mother already.
Maybe i secretly want a baby now too.
A mixed blood one will be good..

S Factor final esp SUCKS!!

Dad's birthday dinner at DianXiaoEr.
He called off the celebration because he is really upset about Grandma's condition.
He didnt want to take the red packet from me even.

Which brings me to this paragraph:
I cannot party or enjoy myself too much this/next month.
Everyone is damn upset Grandma might go anytime.
It'll be insensitive on my part.
And so i hope Julia will forgive me for whatever that has happened or didnt happen.
I am such an escapist.
Nowadays, i just switch off my hp so that i wouldnt have to deal with the smses or calls.

Which which brings me to this paragraph:
not that i take a few hours to reply you but i really don't like to be cornered.
Why do people build their happiness on me.
I'm learning to appreciate alot of things at this point of my life.
Let me take it slow please.

Ok, an important sharing session with Dadee.
He said it doesnt matter how long a couple dates before they get married.
As long as they can support a family together and be tolerant (meaning 1 have to give in no matter what), everything will work out. And most important of all, the children shouldnt be the ones suffering. If you cannot let go or don't like to give in, marriage might not be it. I'll bear the words in my mind.

Breakfast with lil sis and Mum, seems like she is still hurting and upset/angry over history.
I know Grandma and paternal side didnt treat her well thats why she cannot forgive/forget.
I feel angry for the way they treated Mum.
And all these affects our generation.
How i see/treat my Grandma and relatives. I don't like them but im ok with my cousins.
Afterall, she's a dying woman on the hospital bed and i respect and care for my Dadee alot. He's very sensitive these days. I think he wanted to cry on alot of occassions but he pulled them back.

It's gonna be a mess after Grandma pass on.
How morbid, they've made arrangements in case *touch wood*...
Money and assets distribution.
I dont want a cent of their crap.
But if we're fighting for it..
They are such dirty players.
But it'll be good if company stays under Dadee's name.
Too bad old people don't think like we do.

Drama.
Drama.
Drama.

--

Shall scrap a small mail-box today. Post pics if its nice (:
Its ME-time!!

--

My tutee is so cute!
Her innocence is sucha beauty..maybe i do like kids afterall.
Wow, its been 3 years! (:

Film Screening

Film Screening at Laselle with the guys and Amy.
Forgot to bring flower for Shu!
His short films are very well executed.
Good job! (:

Summer Stunners

I'm thrilled BORDERS is having 30% off a full-priced book this weekend!

Shanice will be going shopping! (:

And i hope tmr's collection will sell.
Then i can go shopping in peace.

Photoshoot in a while's time.
I gotta iron the apparels myself :(
Maid is helping Mummy make dumplings.
I hope i don't burn them.

tweeet tweet

The messaging system we didn't know we needed until we had it..

HOONG LING YI has given birth to baby girl Ana!
Congrats (:
You're the last person i thought who would do things the unconventional way.
You were my choir and perfect junior.
The one who can sing very well.
Lead role in the musical.
High nose bridge, talk of the town.
Smart girl from A class.

If i've the money, i'll go and visit you in NZ some day.
Since you've no plans to return to motherland.
Haha.

--

I've a sudden liking for ribbons on shoe.

Chill Out Cafe

Highly not not not recommended.

Service: bad
Food: not worth mentioning
Price: -
Company: priceless

--

Evon went shopping at my house-shop today.
She burst her budget.
Everyone who walks in will definitely spend $100-$200.
How to resist those pwetty materials!
Can't wait to attend her wedding this Dec (:
Miss scrapping..recently i've been so overwhelmed with work i havent been in the mood to create.

--

And so i was tallying payment blahblah, switching between gmail and dbs dot com.
Got really annoyed because they just dont tally.
And when i ask for a photo of atm receipt, they come up with all sort of excuses.
Does anyone read English out there!
I mean it when i say order will not be processed without a clear photo of the atm receipt.

What else.

It says backorder OPEN. but everyone comments on it asking if i'm still taking orders.
Ew. All the details are there. Take time to read please. If i've all the time in the world, i dont mind..just dont catch me on a bad day.

--

Spotlight shopping this thursday.
Whoopers!
Studio shoot on Friday and launch of collection.
Nervous, one of my self-manufactured piece arrived.
50 frikkin pieces, sales better be good.
Else Shanice will be depressed.

In space, no one can hear you tweet!

Damned coffee.
Made my heart work like hell today.

Done with book.
Now i can buy Jodi's Handle with Care with less guilt.

Hungry.
Off to supper with Jennifer.

--

Need to sell a whole lot more..maybe 12 pieces.
I hope sales pick up!

--

Grandma doesn't have many days left.
They'll run some tests soon but right now she's relying on bags of blood and oxygen.
We've decided to bring her home..
And because Dadee was Grandma's favorite son, i think its gonna be tough on him.
Lord have mercy.

PS: sorry i deleted a chunk of words. dont want to see them. i will deal with my emotions positively from now. i will tryyyy.

Kimmy -> i dont particularly have a liking for tea. makes my tongue rough!

Not much

Wet market after bunch-ing with Mum.
Realized i won't survive the marketing and cooking.
Let's just hit Cold Storage, anytime.

I didn't expect a&f to have such a provocative teaser photo!

Shall take 2 hours to finish the last 169 pages of Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman. It's been a year!!

Loving my Sunday. Nobody, i seriously mean nobody shall intrude it.

Remember to catch S Factor tonight.

It's beautiful, what's not to like?

Love her body!!!
Why am i like nowhere close :(

Angele -> woohoo..!! exams over?? can we squash soon? racket is turning rusty!! haha

Starbucks (the fake one)

They even have a website.
And to tell the truth, it taste good! (:

--

Bummer.

I could answer every single one of your questions.
And then i felt like crying because things have changed.
We grew up.
Let emotions run us over like a car.
It can never be the same again.
Think i lost a bridesmaid (if i ever get married).

--

My maid finished the last packet of that special instant noodle me and lil sis bought back from Bangkok. For some reason or another, i feel like killing her!!! We tried to leave it for a "special" occasion. Now its gone. Wonder how sis will react when she comes back from camp this weekend. I know its just maggi mee, but hey, you can't find it in Singapore. And myojo is not even that good!! I get very annoyed when the food i buy back disappears. We are all family but please ask first!!

Bummerrrrrrrr :(

I un-clubbed chris

Me sad!!! :(

Wanna go Korea next month.
Air China flies you there for $492 only.

But Mummy say they use old planes.
I don't want to fly SQ for double or triple this price.

And maybe if we pray hard enough, Dadee can use some leave and go with us.
We can celebrate Father's Day in Seoul.
Then i can see Ga Yeong and do some catching up..
Weather there is awesome right now!

--

creamy's the 1st to fail my facebook quiz.
well done darling O_o

I need to make your door-sign

I packed the corner of my room today.
Dug out thousands of letters.

From Dine..peggy ting..cheryl my bestie (the most letters of all, i even had them kept separately in a box)..and some names which i cannot put a face to.

And i made a very tough decision..to throw them away without reading em for the last time :(
I cannot bear to.
If i read them, i wouldnt..

Of course i kept some from special people (:

"call me, my number is..my address is.."
"pss..dont show this letter to anyone"
"i saw you running today..you can run very fast"
"i would like to be your best friend"
"how to be a prefect like you"

--

Manhatten Fish Market with Faith.
The Soup Spoon for dinner.
Just keep eating.
Covered iluma, Bugis Junction and Haji.
Slept on the bus ride home..ough to hit the sack now..

I had a weird dream

Woke up at 11.57am.
Its all over.
Or not.

Good intentions can lead to great tragedy if not executed with the utmost care.

--

Madame Flamingo rocks.
Need to stock them up when i visit Bangkok later this year.
Too expensive to buy them from No. 9 Haji Lane.

--

Got fed up replying this customer yesterday.
To a point i didnt want to earn her money.
But i know a good sales person shouldn't react this way.
Grant me patience!!

Happy Mother's Day

BYO: bring your own
PYS: pay it yourself (my mum's new rule with regards to our hp bill)
Gees, $29+ only. I give her far more than that amount monthly.

Mother's day, we went out for a meal at You Ji Mee Sua.
She settled the bill. We all burst out in a mighty chortle.
She exclaimed that she didnt want to celebrate this event just 3 weeks ago.

Went down in the afternoon to play nanny role for Veronica darling.
And wished Godma happy mother's day.
She's old enough to be my grandmother but i spent my days growing up at her place.
My dearest mama is turning 70 this year i think..
Parents working, maid needs to take care of everything else and i'm really sticky as a child.
The "troublesome" one, will cry when my mum wants to bring me home, wouldnt go to bed unless im on my 10th milk bottle of the night..the one that feeds on 50cent coins and cooks tissue paper over a pseudo stove.

There're lots to give thanks for..

--

Told him i dunno what to make out of him..and he got really confused with that statement. hahaha..and its confusing me now too..

you bring out all sorts of positive feelings in me. yet i cannot get the feeling im looking for. you make me smile on days i nearly broke down, you generally make me feel like im in love. but yet i dont think its love. you said the feelings got stronger. but im not convinced that shld be the reason we ought to get together. because i really dunno what brings 2 person together..

i tried not to contact you after i got back from melbourne. partly because i've alot of backlog work to clear. but also because i wanted to see if the feelings go away.

i dont want to have the conversation but it happened. it is happening right now. we're putting alot of thought into the replies and stuff..you asked me what to do right now..and i really dunno..i feel like running away?

and sometimes i feel that "you" are desirable because i can no longer get your heart. but once i love someone, i just cannot un-love him. time heals the wound but it doesnt mean that i have stopped loving him. its like poison.

have i moved on?
or have i not moved on at all?

I walk by Faith

Celine and Karine from France is amazing.
2 days of workshop, learnt a whole lot of new techniques.
Made lots of friends.
Can't wait to dedicate 3 days for scrapping next week (:

---

2 days of abdomen pain AFTER having my "dinner".
I'll've to go see a doctor if this persists.
Thank you J, for being concerned.
And creamy for sending me msges of reminder (to have my meals).

---

I tried being nice for the entire of yesterday.
I thanked the bus captain before alighting.
I smiled & chatted with the boss whom developed 400 photos (15cents each only!!) for me within an hour.
I praised the auntie who cooked the economic beehoon, her veggies were marvelous.
And i decided to go for violin exam next Feb, which means i've to start lesson at moosik school by the end of this month.

---

I met your mum on a few occasions. Remembered her as a very welcoming person, even at the gate on days i need to pass something to you and you're not home. I'm sorry for your lost and i'll keep your family in my prayers..

Inside all of us..

Who wants to date me!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NOkQ4dYVaM

Speaking French

Botanics with Melly & Dine.
Picnicking under a pavilion, spotting animals, snapping away with our cameras, enduring the humidity..what other way to spend an afternoon together! (:

Food entry

Shanghai Village at Chinatown.


The expensive Crab Linguine by st kilda's.


Bratwurst.


Dugnuts for breakfast at QVM.

Grecco cakes. The best.




Kaneda Sushi. Value for money dinner with Charmaine (:


Freddo. Yums!




Ying Tai for lunch with Yingjing.





My sister was asking for alcohol, juices and tea all at the same time.
OMG, damn confusing. You want to sleep or wake up!!

Too tired to take pics (my dslr is surely heavy and bulky) of the cabin food on flight back but the appetizer was smoked salmon and it was really yummy (:

Emirates impressed me a great deal. Service, "comfort" and cabin food.
I shall skip the details, you find out yourself (:
Mummy wants to go Europe, i am so tempted to go!!

--

Down with slight flu.
Clinic is packed.
I'm waiting for Chris to buy me a cute mask from Taipei (:

--

Went supplier's to QC the sample pieces i've sent in for manufacturing. Its gorgeous. More pieces coming up!!