SCGS enrichment workshop

Thank you Jelissa for the opportunity to teach along aside with you and Mabel.

Teaching at SCGS required so much of me, but gave me back more than I imagined.
I have to give precise instructions, correct wrong techniques used in class, encourage them to be creative and be generous with my compliments.
Conducting 16 hours of scrapbooking in 2 days is akin to 8 hours of hiking.
Crazy messy as usual, but extremely fulfilling (:

Victorious friendships

"The friendship is not reward for our discrimination and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each the beauties of all the others. They are no greater than the beauties of a thousand other men; by friendship God opens our eyes to them. They are, like all beauties, derived from Him and then, in a good friendship, increased by Him through the friendship itself, so that it is His instrument for creating as well as for revealing. At this feast it is He who has spread the board and it is He who has chosen the guests. It is He, we may dare to hope, who sometimes does, and always should, preside. Let us not reckon without our Host." C.S. Lewis

Thank you Lord, for Quad, Kai, Grace, Justina, Melissa, Gina and the many other friends you have placed in my life. Truly, none of my friendships can be sustained without You. Teach me to always love and grow my friendships like a good gardener to His buds and blooms. To my friends, thank you for your much cherished care, thoughts, love and encouragements throughout time. I can only ask for your continued faith in me. Old friends and new friends alike, you are all God-given.

Whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.
Proverbs 11:25

My experience: EV of uterus, dilation and curettage (D&C)

Checked into Thomson Medical Centre at 10.37am for the D&C procedure.
Was freaked out when the nurse inserted Cytotec into me, after which i was just shaking uncontrollably. I don't think it was because of the cold but probably some side effects. Which was good in a way because i couldn't feel the cramps or any pain.

Am so thankful for Marcus' love, support, encouragement and just being by my side to go through this ordeal together. It's a closure and its certainly a joy being able to experience pregnancy for 11 weeks (: I will never forget the past 3 weeks of sheer excitement and joy upon finding out the miracle in my womb.

Very quickly (about 45-60mins), i was wheeled into the waiting area while the nurses did more paperwork and the routine questions. By 12.25pm, i was knocked out fast in the operating theatre after whining (a lot) as they inserted the IV into me. I really hate having that plug jammed into my hand, traumatises me like crazy.

By 12.53pm, i was awake and since everything was stable, i was wheeled back to my day surgery ward at basement 1. Gees, machiam like dungeon ok. Basement 1, joke. Marcus swung by at 1.30pm with longan drink and soy bean for me. Love my baby to bits! Hospital did provide hot milo and some crackers. With no discomfort, pain or nauseousness, we were discharged at 3pm.

My courage came from Him, my one true source of comfort, trust and hope. God is still good and will always be sovereign. How can i allow myself to be blind to God's goodness and presence in my life (:

Bubye baby Ellie.

Your grace is sufficient for me.

Unsubscribe

I guess thats what i did immediately.

Unsubscribe to all pregnancy mailing lists, cancelled all the maternity tours, deleted iPhone apps, put away the one and only pregnancy gift from Faith.

Read up on D&C procedure and ended up freaking myself out.

I know we can try again, thats hardly the point.
My flesh died, my heart is in pain.
It wouldn't be half as bad if not for the pregnancy hormones that are making me emotional and the continuous replay of baby's heartbeat 3 weeks ago in my mind.

I am at peace that God is with us every step of the journey and He is a gracious God. He wouldn't have allowed an unhealthy pregnancy to happen, just that the baby wasn't fit enough for survival and He definitely have bigger and better plans for us.

Am grateful for the support and prayers given to myself and Marcus during this period.

week 11 The Silent Miscarriage

What filled our hearts was sadness and loss during the checkup this morning.
Strangely, my weight dropped even more this week, bringing it to 41.4kg today.
There wasn't any sign of miscarriage and i suffered from moments of morning sickness the past 3 weeks.
Foetus was still measuring 8 weeks today and no heartbeat could be detected.

We did both US and transvaginal to confirm, but there was nothing.
He couldn't pick out blood flow near the fetus and noticed jagged uterus walls.
Gynae was certain the pregnancy is unhealthy and chromosomal abnormalities being the likely cause of the miscarriage. He assured me it is nothing to do with what i eat or what i have been doing or what i have not done. Every miscarriage case is an isolated event and many go on to have successful pregnancies. And so, we were scheduled for the procedure on Thursday to clear my uterus :(

We loved the baby the moment she was formed in my womb.
How the news tore our heart and soul to pieces..
We wanted this baby so much, but now we have to give her back to the Lord.

God gives, God takes away.
God is faithful like He has always been and we trust His plans are always good.
I know my every tear matters to Him and He will bring us comfort, strength, peace and restore my health and joy.

But my heart is grieving.
We can only put our hope and trust in God, that in His time, He will make all things beautiful for us.
God is still good, and we stand on His promises, He will go through this with us.
"He will turn my mourning into dancing".

week 10, day 3

I think its more of a food bump/bloat than baby bump.
But i do see something! :b
For once i'm excited to look big and fat and round like a whale!
It's gonna be so worth it.
Haha goodbye abs and bikinis!

This week, the foetus is the size of a prune and muscles are beginning to function.
Am looking forward to gynae visit in 5 days time!
I wanna see my baby kick and squirm.

During breakfast yesterday, i poured 2 glasses of milk. One for Marcus and the other one for myself. He went ahead to grab the bigger glass and i snatched it back from him, loudly declaring "I AM DRINKING FOR 2!". Haha, not quite but i just want the bigger glass!

Balanced meal is still a huge challenge. Every day, every meal.
Why am i such a fussy eater!
However, the queasiness and bloatedness sort of died down a little this week. Thank God!
I'm looking forward to 2nd trimester already!
Just wanna enjoy this journey i'm privileged enough to be blessed with (:

Broke the good news to Quad during Jen's housewarming last week.
Super blessed by Faith who bought me this book which i've been searching for, high and low.
Thank you for the lovely surprise!

I don't wanna appear bias, of course i prefer a baby girl but a baby boy works as well. A healthy, happy baby will do. God will give us what we need, so we will be thankful anyhows. Just thinking of a million and one baby girl names at this point, and i'm definitely leaning more towards the classic chic british names. The sooner we know the gender, the earlier we can address the fetus by his/her name and do targeted shopping. We are still some time away from week 20, and we cannot wait to reveal your gender during Christmas gatherings.

Baby, Dadee and Mummy love you a lot. We have been praying for you daily and Dadee has been kissing you, (i wish i can bend over) can you feel our love? (:

God's timing is divine

God isn't bound by time like we are, He can see straight into the future.
All I asked for was regular period and good health so that we can pray for God's timing to bless us with a baby in the future.
And He gave us more than we ever asked for.
Isn't it amazing? (:

God has a plan for my baby's life, in His appointed time.
God works on our behalf when we pray, thats how the spiritual law works.
God works through prayers, and prayers work.
God's power is released when we pray.
Ask, just ask.

We were sharing with each other how this child came so perfectly timed even though our 5 room BTO wouldn't be completed till 2016:

1) we still have the energy to run after the kid
2) we were living under our parents' roof and that means extra help with a newborn
3) my Godma stays on the 9th floor and she is a great nanny and cook
4) i am currently not working so full attention can be given to the baby
5) we can design the kid's room when renovation starts instead of leaving it empty
6) baby will be almost 1 year old by the time we move into our new nest, that, i am comfortable with handling her on my own by then
7) i wanted a baby before i hit the big 3 and I'm well ahead of schedule now

We believed God wanted our child to be here by 2015 and to be a part of His divine purpose and plan. Other than a healthy pregnancy, i am challenged to put my anxiety and fears aside, to free myself of all ungodly eating habits and to pray for more wisdom and help to bring our child up in a loving and godly fashion so that he/she will grow to love God deeply and serve Him wholeheartedly.

We dated for 7 months before Marcus popped the question, got married 22 months into our courtship and on the 37th month our family will officially expand! Other than being financially, spiritually and emotionally ready at those particular seasons, it really felt like our life together was being led by the Spirit and accordingly to God's perfect timing. There was no struggle and we knew He was with us every second of the way.

If you are waiting for a breakthrough, a miracle, an answer, I want to encourage you, never give up. God hears your prayer, He never forgets, He is working on whats best for you and all He is asking for is Faith.

Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.
Romans 10:17

I'm beginning to like the name Faith a lot :b

week 9, day 3

This is my baby bump for the week, not much development or that of a bump.
I am still fighting fatigue, bloatedness and some crazy bouts of morning sickness (not limited to just morning but throughout the day).
I can feel my heart pumping hard even when i sleep, the strange dreams go on and on each night and my skin is really bumpy the past few weeks.

I lie in bed a lot, thinking of names for my little one, praying, watching videos, browsing baby websites, too excited to start shopping. Once the gender is revealed, i assure you the shopping will be crazy. But what's important for myself and the baby right now is to strengthen our relationship with God.

There's a lot going on with the growth and development of the foetus on the 9th week. Uterus is expanding to accommodate the growing peanut, my heart is working overtime to supple oxygen and bloodflow to her, and certainly, my pregnancy hormones are all over the place. Hopefully my placenta takes over the job of nourishing my baby soon so the morning sickness will faded away quick.

Pardon me, i will just call the fetus a 'her' until we know the gender for certain, sometime further in the 2nd trimester.

Pregnancy is hard, its awful with morning sickness. I am still trying to cope with what i eat, which is a major challenge. As much as our body is designed for pregnancy and labour, i am still struggling with the changes. Just have to be very positive about it and listen closely to what my body requires. I believe God will prepare me for this miracle, open up truths from His word that will comfort and challenge me to become even more of the woman, the mother He designed me to be.

I marvel at this miraculous creation He is even forming within me and i am THAT grateful, THAT honoured to be chosen. There's an important task He has laid before me-the gift of motherhood.

What a privilege!

I chose you before I formed you in the womb; I set you apart before you were born
Jeremiah 1:5

week 8, day 3

What have I been up to lately?

1) monitoring my diet and nutrient intake (that includes taking my folic pill regularly)
2) looking up maternity fashion on ASOS.COM
3) reading lots of reviews and blogs on hospital packages/other couples sharing their pregnancy journey
4) interceding and praying daily for the baby

How i have been feeling lately?

1) tired
2) queasy in my stomach before/after meals
3) mildly uncomfortable in the lower abdomen area (could be uterus stretching to accommodate the growing fetus)
4) food aversion continues..

This is me at 8 weeks, 42kg. Lost a bit of weight last month due to morning sickness.
I feel my body changing. Hormones are acting crazy on my skin, outbreaks on my arm. Strange or what? Even though most of you might argue I'm still very flat and skinny in the above photo, i know the belly is already starting to bulge. It was way flatter than this in July, even though i may be 1kg heavier then.

Today, we celebrate our 7th monthsary since we got married in March.
Marriage is an intentional daily decision to see the gold in Marcus, intentionally surprising him, making him happy, loving him, intentionally building each other up, intentionally forgiving him, intentionally putting his needs first, intentionally giving each other space to grow and for him to lead the household, intentionally keeping peace, intentionally making time for dates - basically everything that goes against the grain of what being single meant previously.
Sounds tough but we are not meant to do this alone - Jesus Himself teaches us to do all that, and more. Marriage is an avenue for His grace to shape us - and still shaping!

I will be documenting my pregnancy journey here weekly, appreciate any sort of advise or prayers if you come across my humble blog (: