Date with Cheryl: im suppose to meet her at noon and guess what?? i woke up only at noon!! called her to apologize and dashed down in a cab. haha...sleepy shanice. She wasnt angry...so mild-tempered hor?? Anyway, we ate at Pastamania and then transferred to Coffeebean (our usual hangout). Drank Mocha and talked for hours. I cant believe i blabbered on like a stoppid duck and she just sat down and listen to all my stories. Then she commented that i've changed alot and should continue to go church..something like she see alot of anger and hatred and pride in me now, which didnt exist in me before. And she said might be due to my family and because she wasnt around to wake me up. Haha...and i guess that's true cause im much more spiritually and mentally weak now. Realised how the environment and people im closest to changed me?? Some things are just so unexpected. Anyway, we had a great time just sitting down, talking and me bitching to her of course. I think it's time for me to be "headstrong" now. She made me "see light" in that short 3hrs. See why i need her to be around. She's leaving for Melbourne probably on Feb 1st and wont be back in 3years till she completes her BA university course. im gonna become more atrocious without her..maybe i rely on her too much...sort of explains why she's my best friend..i got so much running through my head i dunno what to type..oh..i think she mentioned something about me running away from everything in my way. Even if im really escaping, i dont think im realising it yet.. -shrugs- She asked if im still concerned over other people's problems. Of course not!! After all my experience, its better if i take a step back instead of making myself busy over other people's business. See why i give that "cant be bothered" attitude if the things dont concern me?? i realised that i cant help the entire population...ok...i hate to reach the stage whereby i'll loathe myself...but i think im reaching it...im beginning to cant stand myself for who i am..haha..need more councilling sessions with Cheryl!!! See..i dont even know what im talking about now..args..but anyway, i hope to be able to spend more time with her before she leaves for 3 years =)