Grow Up Sha

I passed Mathematics! Was happy till i realised the average grade in class in above 70. *curses* At least i know how to do it now without assistance...if only i'd started on revision earlier.

Mum got $600 and Dad's got $1000. My older sister is pissed she didnt get any because her birthday fall short of 3 days and she's working. Sad case. Worst for me..i've to wait for 2 more years before i get any money or vote in general elections.

Dont wanna turn 20....

Was pondering about behaviour of some friends..why're they like this and like that. Whats considered as matured and all. Are they just gonna think and act this way till they start working in society. Stuff like if i am judging too much or if i actually behave like this sometimes.

Period's coming i think..makes me uber flustered at God-knows-what. Back to being a couch potato.

Dazing..

Happy Daze with 2 favourite girls yesterday at Srg Gdn. Sweet evening spent with Melly and Dine (:

Fell asleep the moment i went to bed. It's better that way. I hate rolling about in bed waitin to drift off.

Set my eyes on N80 or maybe 6280. Darn!

March's ending in a matter of 1 day. And i didnt work the whole of this month. Gross.

Things to do (reminder for myself):

• start practising on stats soon
• finish readings on Organisation
• revise main points of biz mgmt chpt 1-4

Hong Kong Cafe

With the amount of shit plastered to my face, im in zero mood to go out. Makeup makes it worst.

Wonderful night spent with my dirtyboy..think u didnt sleep well though. Ended up tosing and turning the whole night and now, im dead sleepy. You're gonna ORD tmr!!!! (:

Lousy day at school. Did badly for Sociology as compared to first exam. She commented the theory and essay questions pulled my grades down. Problem was that i didnt focus during the paper. For a obvious reason.

Suppose to meet Chris for dinner. But i had to wait for 30mins at Kovan. I saw 113, hopped on and went home. Haha, lazy. Horrible me...agreed and backed out last minute. No wonder he called me an:

Abandoner.

Felt so bad i decided to meet him for dinner with sis in the end. Great ambience and company. Thanks for the treat woman. You're always nice. I mean it. *cross my heart, hope to die* Feel better soon yea, thats if u're still feeling weird.

Godpa, I miss you :(

Cartier PARIS

Beautiful Soul

Godbro's gonna get married. I think it'll be late this year or early next year. Cool..finally i get to be the 'direct' family member helping out with the wedding plans. =)

Anyway, helped to tidy up their house today and Godpa's old black and white photos caught my eyes. He sure travelled alot during when he was young. And very good-looking too..he wore suits everywhere he went! Haha. Working for SIA is so exciting!

And so Godma gave me her vintage Cartier paris bag. It's so well-kept! I'm entertaining the thought of selling it. If not for the fact that i look silly carrying it. Haha.

Boring Saturday. Attempted a mathematics paper. Really no flare for Math. The gene runs for Geography.

Wanna share something taken from Cheryl's blog, thought it was well-written.

"Beauty is a matter of the soul. A woman of true beauty is one who's at rest with who she is and is not striving to become someone else ".

When it comes to relationships, women tend to be frightened. The truth is that we are relational to our core. Relationships matter to us; we are fiercely loyal. But most women are lonely; we think we're doing something wrong. We have a huge longing for relationship. And part of our makeup is to bring forth life. We don't just do it through birthing children. We do it in relationships when we come alongside and help others to grow. But remember that we also know betrayal. It takes an immense risk to be vulnerable in a relationship.

Happy Birthday, Kimmy

My maid is trying to murder my hamster!

*curses*

Wanted: Correction Fluid

At least i think i did well for business mgmt paper, nothing to be proud of since im way off the 1st class grade. Highest in class was Jerrome again. Applause pls. Haha. And a pat on my back for the effort. I jumped from 6% to 43%! (:

Found a 'secret' place in my school-the top level. They're so many studyrooms for revision!! Haha. Except the China students're a little too noisy for my liking. Take no offence there (if i have any China men reading my blog-Shu's not counted).

I want to study and do well. But i find that the friends im hanging around with cant help me much. They're hardly motivated themselves. I'm lazy to get lecturers help also. Something's gotta be done man. Exam're in May.

Godma/Godbro had their house renovated, rewired and marble polished. Looks so much better than my fugly home. I wanna do up my humble home by myself next time.

I love milk chocolates. I love cheese. I love warm milk. Why's the Nestle's milkybar so frikkin expensive?

It's weekend ______. Should i use again or finally?

Melly -> haha, honeypot is a luxury i swear. can stop shopping! =p doubt im gg to beach with ya tmr.

Xiumei -> taking econs paper is like taking a spanish paper. I dunno what the qns want and i cant answer it anyway. haha. nvm. lets work hard together!

Happy Birthday, Gracie

Got back my first mock exam paper-Economics. Improved but still didnt pass. I'm on a panic-attack. If my standard is a C (for A-levels), i believe i'll fare lower that for a degree.

Recognise, Interprete, Analysis.

I realised i havent worked for a month at Bikini-bar/Coastes. Obviously not earning but spending. Went out with Eunice yesterday and a few stuff caught my eyes. I'm gonna get it. Haha. Sometimes i wonder whats the use of saving when i end up busting those hundreds i saved.

I have parents reminding me that we're poor. Then again, wealth cant be measured.

Threadless had a 48hr 10buckeroos sale, got Shu his late bday gift. Then i remembered i still owe Chris his present too. Melly, how to go Honeypot next Wed?? Think i shouldnt spend on it just yet.

Zihui -> You'll be fine. *hugs* Haha..u started the whole Chinablack thing!!! Was just teasing lar..take no offence ok. =p study hard, stick with my sis in SAJC lar..haha..

Bless me with good heart & skin

Click here for comms ball photos. There're only about 30, for the obvious reason i wasnt the star of the night. The officers were. Haha. If u need my user/password, do let me know (:

March holidays're over. Thank God i'll be back in school. Wasnt a fruitful study break but at least it wasnt a wasted one as well.

Honey bunny came over with Derrick and pitch some concept to Dadee. Yes, after 3 grueling hours, Dadee bought something and busted 336 buckaroos. O_o Remember i'm here to give you full support. =)

Sympathy For Lady Vengeance and Monster is good. Shu!! I wanna borrow Crash!

I'm trying so hard to save. Then all those dates and catching-up-with-friends' making me spend! Haha. Stop asking me out!!! *grins*

Josh is super tempermental. He gets upset with me (like all the time), disappear for a couple of days, calls me the next moment and pretend as if nothing has happened. I cant fathom you, must we take it to the next level? I'm sorry if i've hurt you..you did too, afterall.

I Y my boyfriend, despite everything and anything. But at least now i know im in a position whereby i wont get hurt too much.

Zihui -> done! =) hope u're well. anymore panic-attacks babe?? oops, i did it again..haha..shhh...

Peichin -> hey girl! so tentatively this thurs yea.. =)

Moulin Rouge

What a spread (for lunch) at Luke's place yesterday! I had 4 servings. *grins* Favourite was the potato salad, im a salad fan ok. Thought his parents were very hospitable and gregarious, he was a good host himself! Thanks, enjoyed myself!

Cabbed down to town with Chris and got makeup done at Taka's Bobbi Brown ($60-fully redeemable). If not for the disgusting complexion, i would've done it myself. Anyway, i didnt really think my promoter Jamie was experienced enough. I preferred the "gay" who made me up for college prom at Isetan. Redeemed the lip balm and eye concealer. I'm sorry the bill came up to $70. =/ Wanted to hit $60 exactly but couldnt cause the products were so weirdly priced.

Now, i shall attempt to narrate my wonderful experience at the Commissioning Ball.

Rushdy came all the way from Shangri La to pick me up from Taka, then to Shangri La again. *roll eyes at my own English* Arrived, felt so frikkin twisted. Maybe cause there were too many babes and hunks. Haha. Oh oh, my fav was this sweet looking girl in a white halter. No, didnt get her number. O_o

Back to the main picture. I cant remember the sequence but the entertainment part was interesting. Fire-eater, balloon-eater (?!) cold jokes, clowns, magic, acrobatics. Still as amazed. I loved this kinda entertainment when i was little. Haha. Rushdy was a good date, at least he tried his best to make me feel belonged and confortable. I admit im a little of a nervous-wreak at this sort of functions.

Food. Shangri La's 9 course meal still not to my taste bud. Imagine ginko and chestnut for desert. Oh, gross. And of course the prawns, really wish i dont have an (skin) allergy problem. Favourite was cold dish, fish and brocolli dish. The reason we didnt pay as much during prom although everything else was similar, was because we had waiters serving us individually for each course.

The Brave/Echo presentation was an eye-opener. Suddenly felt super proud of them. Going through stuff i doubt i'll ever get the chance to do or experience. Now i know Singapore's pretty safe with them around. Haha. I think as much as i loathe army, these 2 years is something u'll want to treasure. The bond and suffering. =)

And so as cheesy as it might sound, im thankful for the chance to be there with you. Enjoyed myself, i really did. And thanks for being such a wonderful date. Although i'll prefer to call you classmate and sister! Haha.

Sweet dreams're made of these

Terrible week. Tried to study but concentration span was like only 2hours per day. *shakes head* Thank God school starts next week.

Freshkon got me a replacement box for my contacts!! Haha. Feel so much better.

Anyway, i went with Dadee to NTU yesternight. Fetch Emily sis home of course. Very disappointed at the place sis was living at! Haha, thats called hostel life?? Ok, i prolly wont survive there. Never! O_o And i saw Weijie and Esther!! *grins*

Gonna be a busy day tmr. Day kicks off with Luke's BBQ at noon, after which is prep for ball. Loathe (massive) dolling up. Then i'll be meeting a friend at The Balcony after the ball, i think. Long day..

Oh yes...i actually forgot to put on my retainers last night!! Which makes it really 'tight' this morning. *groans* Sucks..so forgetful.

Then i had this dream that i was at some ulu park with Tirene when 5 blacks came after us, stole our belongings and wanted to rape us. It was so real, i woke up crying. Helplessness and hopelessness, prior to how i was feeling before i drifted to sleep.

Darn, i miss my dirtyboy! *pouts*

Food Fair with parents this evening. Not impressed, but the buns and thai coconuts were good!

Zi Hui -> you know i'll always be here for you babe. -loves

Melly -> haha, yes...29th!!! hopefully the other 4 can come along? miss u loads girl (:

Naz -> oops..sorry, im so clumsy. wah liew..so long liao..u still remember? haha..who was the other girl sitting beside me huh?? cant remember. darn. just cant be demure! X_x

Eyeballs

I torn a brand new coloured lens! One side some more! Fish! 15bucks gone. Let me go and die. Why is it so frikkin soft?? No more Freshkon.

*whines*

And and and, why did you buy it for me??!! How can i ever accept it..no matter how much i want it? There's no such thing as a 'free lunch' right..?

Bioskin tmr. My clogs and zits're so irritated. Gosh, better heal well for Saturday.

And yes, this Saturday - comms ball. Bobbi Brown better conceal those shit on my face. I'll try to have fun since Mr Rushdy is paying so much for my share. For ur info, i toppled my drink and my friends drinks during college prom. And for Subha's 21st bday bash, i got agitated and toppled my drink. Gosh, talk about trying to be demure and meticulous. O_o

Cats

Cheetahs - they're the fastest animal sprinters on land. temperatures rise up from 37 to 40 degrees when they're huntin. anything more than that, they'll fall ill/or die. Lung capacity is huge and not to mention the powerful legs they have. Normally, it takes a minute or less (no more than that) to kill because they get tired sprinting so fast. After the sprint, they normally rest before eating the prey. woah, look at the muscles.

Leopard - they're the stalkers! hunts preferably at night. precise and quiet hunters. aims for the throat of their prey and then bring them back to savor on trees. they have the strength to carry a carcass as heavy as themselves up the tree. this prevents other (lions) from stealing their prey. bravo!

Tiger - patient hunters, wait up to as long as 30mins before they spring into action. most powerful of the cat family. strong jaws/teeth, definitely built to kill. no needa say too much about them. i love they way they look so majestic!

Discovery channel and National Geographic couch potato for 2 hours on a saturday morning. Haha. LEARNING never stops! (:

IT fair...so frikkin crowded!

Damn, i wanna shop. Marina Square and Suntec's cool. I love this $199 classic white dress from MANGO. And this $59.90 huge belt of RIPCURL. Beautiful!

Xiangjing's party later. Excited to see my girls!!

Dirtyboy sings!

I hate the way my parents yelled at each other last night, in front of me! Especially my Dadee, it scares me. I feel like i'm a lil' girl all over again.

Worst part was that i dont know whether to cry, scream at them to stop it or walk away from the dining table. I froze there with veggies in my mouth, shaking (not literally).

I dont have a perfect family, prolly gonna be broken soon. That's so sad. Now i know it affects me.

Cheryl's trying to help me out with Statistics online, when she's in Melb. Haha. Amazing, how we try to get our ideas across the globe. Thanks alot babe. Monash is proud to have you..haha!

BioSkin lady boss (really pretty!!) is gonna monitor my skin personally now. After she found out we're really unhappy. Haha, she just gave me more free products again. Ok, i certainly need them. Thank goodness O2 is workin and my zits're drying up. I get stressed looking at myself in the mirror! Better improve before comms ball next sat.

Deluxe Straightening Care. Think i might consider that. Have i mentioned that i'd straight and good hair till i was 15? And now, im almost 20. My hair sucks. Dry, frizzy, damaged, explosive, chemicalized, coloured, dyhydrated.

Ok, so my mood's not that great but it'll try to keep it up.

Wyn -> -hugs, you really dont see Cheryl around in uni? haha..miss ya!

Melly -> damn...yes..honeypot!! next week!! i want a 'bite' there too. haha. love-love!

Ying you now and forever, dirtyboy.

yours always..

Lost

Really miss my godfather. I cant remember when was the last time i held his hand and assured him everything's gonna be alright. Or when he struggled to open the door for me to enter. That was all 2 years ago. Can't believe God chose to take him away. Away from me. I'm learning to accept the fact that he's gone but i really do miss him..

Why did that damn coffin have to be open and i've to witnessed the fact that his heart is no longer pumping and his chest is not going 'up and and down' anymore. It's so fucking painful.

I dont wanna lose anyone i love so dearly and deeply ever again. Dont wanna experience it again. But looks like if i can control life and death, there wouldnt be a need for God's existence. He's inbox'll be empty. Yes.

Contentment is what we all needa learn to appreciate. Many other things too. Common sense.

Liyu/Bell/CjS/Melly/Dine/Zihui -> thanks for ya concern..i'll be alright soon. i think.