at the airport

Am using the internet service in the airport. I miss my mummy and daddy..and sisters..they didnt send me off to Bali. Haha..haiz..thanks for those who wished me a safe trip. Yes..will take care of myself.

Just nowwhen i got out of Melissa's dad car, i dropped my passsort..only realised when i was about to check in. Haha...careless i know..oh well...that makes me, me! Wont be bringing my hp..so..yup...

melissa here (oh she's dumb) haha..15mins almost up while i fumble with the laptop..will see you guys after 4 days 3 nights yea.

MUACKS!!!!

Last day before Bali

How did Eve know i have bikinis at home? Is there suppose to be this "particular look" to tell if someone have bikins at home?? I lent her one anyways..since she asked.

Jiesheng called to ask if i've watched Shutters. He probably wanna ask me out..no way in a million years'll i date him???????

Head down to Toa Payoh early in the morning for the mass recruitment. Not sure if i'll get the job. Hopefully when im back, i'll be contacted for a formal interview. Pay's all about $1 100 to $1 300. Good lar..i also dont mind the pay actually..maybe can go back to California Fitness Centre to work..earn more and faster. =))

Got a call from ZA (cosmetics). My entry got in. Yay! But guess what, i can't make it on 29th cause i'll still be in Bali. Whata waste! =/ This contest is basically about designing the compact case for the company. =))

Head downtown with Xiangjing. Walked for 3 hours. Got a new ROXY wallet..Zihui!! It's the same as yours! Finally got it!! Haha..and my prom dress altered at $10 from Lucky Plaza. The tailor seems reliable..keeps reassuring me that he'll do a good job..except he touched my thigns while measuring.. -_-lll

Shopped around..had a good talk with her during this 3 hours while waiting for Tirene to join us. Her hair is lovely now..makes her more mature and more like her twin sister Tisha. Haha..fab! Head down to Heerens for neoprints. Haha..check out that particular machine with a yellow hard sofa..it swells! =)) Sat down at Marche after that and just dawdle about till Edward came. By 5pm, i was tuckered out already.

Saw Daryl at Heerens while i was about to leave. Have yet to pack my bag. Haha..what a coincidence! And yes..Weiling and Adeline too. =)) Long time no see..changes in each of us are gargantuan!

I haven't had a chance to rest properly since the day my last A-levels paper ended. Perhaps the Bali trip will help me relax a bit. Meanwhile, i'll just miss you all.

Love-love...

Bali

Alright peepz. Im off to Bali-Kuta from 27th morning till 30th evening. Staying at Hard Rock Hotel for 3 days 2 nights. Haha..paid $617 for the entire holiday. Havent go change money yet..wanna get a good rate at lucky plaza tmr!!

Im so gonna surf and dive and do all the water sports!! Haha..actually, i paid $17 extra to use the hotel's VIP pool. -_-

Shopping's gonna be hell fun because its all the surf shops! Haha...wee...tell me im lucky. =b

Anyway, havent packed yet. Tmr i guess...so last minute. Oh well..hope nothing goes wrong there. Pray for my safety. Haha..and the 2 other girls travelling with me. Bali, here we come! =))

By the way, here's a cold joke from Mum:

Mum: Daddy ar, your flyer's off!
Dad: -checks-
Mum: Keep your bird in can..
Me: -_-
Dad: -grinz-
Mum: No wonder got bird flu
Me: oh my goodness...haha...
Dad: -thinks Mum's insane-

Anyways, Dad has been gambling on races again. No thanks to my jockey cousin. Yes, quick way to earn money, but definitely not at the expense of our family's finance right?

Long day ahead tmr. Heading for Giordano mass recuitment before heading downtown with Tirene for a movie and then dinner with Edward. Haiz..lack of sleep is causing me to be so narcoleptic.

BBQ

I dont know where to begin..maybe because there simply wasnt any beginning?

23 Nov 2004
Had my last literature paper. Couldnt focus 100% because i was literally counting down the hours before i can play. My older sister who's a "mother-figure" in the household was controlling me like shit for 2mths. Finally, she sent me a msg at 5pm saying i've no more restrictions. I was thrilled.. =) Euphoria..head downtown with Shuming, Christopher and Luke to get the watch for Edward. Had dinner treat from Chris at Marche..i love the sausages. Haha.. -cheeeeeeky- When back home and the guys baked the cake..Mum made me feel like i was a loser in the kitchen...tired when i head to bed.

24 Nov 2004
Woke up late and watched VCDs. Head down to the supermarket with Chris and got the BBQ stuff. Went home to watch "The Incredibles". Was funny..but didnt get to complete the show cause we have to prepare the coating of the cake and the pasta. Went well..i could chop mushrooms and sausages. =)) -beams- Transferred all the stuff to my condo with Gary, Angeline and Chris. When i was there, some girls and guys were there already.

Liyu, Melissa, Sinyin, Amy, Gwen, Grace, Jasmine, Jason, Weichern, Crystal, Edward, Chris, Shuming, Gary, Karsten, Jazq, Angeline, Shuyin, Indran, Rushday, Aisha, Chrystella, Xiangjing, Shuyun, Grace, Tirene, Sammi. Thanks for coming. Especially Jasmine's who is injured and the science peepz who took time off to come. And yes..Daryl. =)) -grinz-

Pardon me if i was not a good host. =/

I saw the division actually..basketball girls..my class clique, the councillors, the a02 and a01 peeps. But hope you all have fun chilling out after exams. Nevertheless, we all study lit and is in the same Arts cohort! No no..cannot say that. I should put it in this way: we're all in the same college! =)) Can't believe i dont have to wear uniforms anymore. No more "shanice-your-skirt-is-too-short". Well, short is a variable term right? -grinz-

Well, think everyone noticed how close my little sister and Karsten was. Dont know if its good or bad? We all do lack brotherly love. But..erm...oh well..keep it simple i guess. -shrugs-

But i must say the water was super duper coooooold!!! -frozen-

Also, i wanna thank my girlies..my clique for staying back all the way with me to clear up. Appreciate it so much. I think you all should know how grateful i am right? Let's go make out! Haha..Xiangjing..i know you're excited liao!! =p We shant mention how our dear friend here missed the last bus and train..dots..haha..

I had fun..think it was pretty successful..not without your pressence, laughter, help and food. =)) I love you all..thank you so much yeah..

Was tired..hit the sack at 3.30am. Woke up by 8am to go Sentosa with the girls.

25 Nov 2004
Sentosa was cool...nice mighty sun. Glad we left after 3 hours cause it rained! Hit town and had Tomyambanmian for lunch. -yummilicious- But sadly, the extreme change of weather made me sick. Headache sucks. Anyway, went to enquire on some sales job with good pay. Cant stand this particular Far East shop called RICKS. Starting pay is 5 bucks and the boss ask us what kinda qualities we have (to help them sell more bags).

LIKE HELLO?! YOUR BAGS SUCK BIG TIME. THE'RE OUTTA FASHION AND YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOUR STORE EARN PROFITS BY JUST PAYING ME 5 BUCKS?? I fired him. Haha..

Am home now..with a healthier skin colour. Jaded..

http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=4287853369 (BBQ)
http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=4287853035 (Sentosa)

Marche

My gootness...anyone saw the sausages sold at Marche?? Wow..im impressed..it resembles..Haha..anyways, had an enjoyable time with the guys at town and at home this evening. Though i believe we made a huge joke outta "something". Pathetic guys..haha..

Glad the As are finally over.. =))

Now, its just party, play and work time!

Lately, i'm having all sorts of weird and "unknown" people taggin me on my blog. Just this month, there's 2. I wouldnt say you're "highly unwelcome". But i'd love it if you could just leave your name down for goodness sake. It irritates me when autonomous peepz or guesswho comes along, leave a line or two and disappears.

Well, i suppose every cohort is different when it comes to university enchance. Duhz. My "tiger" cohort is small and almost uncompetitive. Face it: with C D E and A1, you can still get into SMU. I'm aiming for B C C after having gauge how'll fair. Think thats enough to see me through "ok" faculties. I dont need anyone here to tell me i fcukin can't make it. I DONT appreciate you bursting any of my bubbles. Whether your intentions are good or bad. Excuse my vulgarities..i'm dissed..it concerns my future..why shouldnt i get pissed??

The next time i blog, I'll be free from misery. Haha..let me count -fingers out- 9 hours more..can you believe it?? It's ending sooo fast? -blinks- Yayy....!!!

So cute!!

Unbelievably cute!! =))

Violin pic

Haha..thats me when i was 10? Dumb..was on the bed playing the violin..you wouldnt want to hear me. =b

Condo booked

Economics MCQ, DRQ and CS. Oh my gooTness..felt so constipated when i saw the first question. Couldnt get my brain's motor to run. Took so long to warm up..MCQ squeezed all the brain juice outta me..esp the last question..how was i to know the initial price of the good?? Trade creation or trade diversion in that case?? So i decided that A should be my final answer..after struggling for so long. -_-

Next, must thank Faith for leaking out that Free Trade will come out to me yesterday. If not, i might have have done as well for the CS. I had plenty to write for DRQ, but lack of time. So i rushed through everything since most're 2 pathetic marks. Used 6 papers in all. Which was incredible to me. Think i shot myself for this 2 papers..but im still gunning for a B or C for economics. =))

I figured out with a B C C, i can get into SMU and do business management and psychology. Yada yada..

By the way, pardon me if i cant release the plans just yet..you all should know why. -cheeky- Haha..soon...soon..anyways, can always call me for the details. Im soooo excited!! =))

Just 21hours more...weeee...Am i excited or excited? ;b

Rebonded!

Haha...yes...went to get my hair done. No swimming for now and no highlighting till a month later. Haiz..there goes my beach and pool life. So straight and very light..abit weird. -sniffs hair- I've got fringe for my high forehead! =)) Anyways, 2 people was messing with my hair..felt like a princess again. Haha..then the whole thing ook about 3hours. Studied on the way of course. They're not really educated i believe. Cause 2 women came in during my long-awaited-stay and asked something in English. They casually replied they dont understand and they left. Haha..wow..best!! But their service is very good. Kinda talk to me and asked my stuff about college..haha..friendly. =))

Anyways, studied at Faith's place today. Jenalyn was there as well. Haha..long time didnt catch up with them. We helped each other through econs. I dont wanna lose out to them since they're from ACJC. Haha..my dream bro-sis college. They're so funny..haha..no no..or was i the clown there? Hmm..miss her Mum's meatball soup! But i ended up with plain water for the entire afternoon..haha..

Dirty Dancing

Finished the long and draggy show: The Age of Innocence. I thought it followed very closely to the book. The costumes, setting and characters gave me a clearer visual representation overall. Have to revise 2 more books. Guess lit paper2 is my only hope of a good grade. Haha.

Dirty Dancing is another good show. Cuba seems like a nice -music and dance- place. Rich culture..unlike Singapore. Practically no identity. Saw the Straits Times article on "good service"?? I though that was pretty much a piece of crap. I've encountered many poor services before. Why dont the reports go cover those stories instead?

Aisha and Chrystella said i grew fatter...esp at my cheeks area. Oh my gooTness..is this sanity or vantiy..haha..

Girls, have you ever wonder before; how exactly does our head-hair get into our bra?? I'm stunned! -_-

Anyways, i think CHUNKY can soap tastes the best in the market! =))

Weee....brilliant beyond brilliant! -grins like an idiot-

Shutters!

Went to catch shutters with my girlies this evening at Bedok-Princess. Haha..i screamed thrice in all. Was a good show, clever plot to scare the wits outta the audience and i must say the audience was very humourous! Hee..they were laughing when its suppose to be scary. Kinda works like "comic relief". =)) Thumbs up for the twist in the plot and fear factor! Watch it guys!! -jumps about-

Okie..now for the solemn part. I know im not suppose to "enjoy" during this period. I can't help it. Really..but definitely add colours to my life for this month. Feeling so empty and all..watchin movie with the girlies really cheered me up. (freaked me out?) Haha..no thanks to Nana for making my hands numb. She was grabbing my hand and that stopped the circulation. Haha..on the other hand, Duckied was like so nonchalent about the entire movie. She didnt scream. In fact, she was the first to see through the whole plot. Wow..haha..im slow..not only that, i kinda forgot the show liao. =b -slaps myself- That happens when a movie doesnt require you to think that much. Haha. Anyways, that irritatin man who kept scolding his wife behind us was really un-gentleman and definitely displayed his baseness to us. I hate these type of man. Marry then treat wife like this.

Anyways, my Wednesday evening and Thursday is like so fully booked! I'm so excited!! Will post up the details soon. Daryl and Cheryl, can't wait to see ya!!!

By the way, i think im broke. Haha..have to draw out money for "certain" things. =)) I dont mind a single bit though. All just to make you smile..haha..i sound sick..

Yippy..i'm excited!!
-skips ard-

Sick

Down with flu..running nose..sinus..whatever you call it.. -moody-

Spent the afternoon at Tirene's place. Her hamster's gone. Felt weird walking into her kitchen without having look at that particular "hamster corner". Haha. Dont say im unfeeling..

Borrowed many DVD and VCDs. -skips- Gonna watch them slowly..haha..must be crazy..all during As period. It's gonna be over soon. I dont have the discipline i use to have anymore. Haiz..disappointment. -shakes head-

After econs paper

Economics Wow..question 2(a)(b) 3(a) and 5 was a total give-away. Haha..felt good after the paper. But but i'm gonna have trouble retaining those content till next monday. Rahz.. =))

So far, i've completed General Paper and Mathematics paper. Unfinished ones are Economics and Literature. Felt more positive about getting a place in NUS/SMU (for now). But if i screw up my exams in any way, i'll have to replan for my future again. Hopefully that doesnt happen.

Monstrous exam day

Mathematics paper was kinda cool..Pure Math part a little screwed up but Statistics was easy!!! Haha..can guarantee a pass for 9233 but maybe can reach only a B/C. If got A or B, it is truely God's blessings. =)) I'm taking moderation (lower) into consideration.

Literature was tough. Othello was good but Antony&Cleopatra and Silas Marner might not get me a good grade for paper1. Bangin on the paper2 and paper8 then. -shrugs- Anyways, i think the female long haired invigilator with the punk pants is very sweet. =)) -grinz- And and..they gave me so little foolscape i have to keep asking them lar. By the way, after the first question, i was totally sleepy liao. Chose 1 context and 2 essays..gotta hit a C overall..args..

Morning papers totally killed my "appetite" for a good night's rest. I was so nervous that my heartbeat was pounding for 3 hours straight. No kidding. Laid in bed from 11pm till 1pm or so..i get insomia when there are morning papers. Same for General Paper..crapz..luckily, only afternoon papers left. And its 8 days to freedom! =)) Tmr's econs essay..let me die..oh..no no..haha..tired..

Happy 19th birthday Maurice..

Major papers tmr

Crammed like mad with Grace today...all for tmr cause i have mathematics and literature. Haiz..then next day is econs essay. I cant take it..its weighing down on me..ahhh...after this week, i hope things get better.

Oh..!! I just realised that Grace stays at unit18 and my unit is 30!!! Oh my gooTness..!! -skips ard- Haha..and her family knows my aunties. Hoot! Oh well..i just realised how miserable my room is...probably go furnish it after a-levels. =)) The way my relatives are "taking care" of the house is kinda pathetic. Haha..nevertheless, i still love my flat beside PL! =)) It'll be much prettier after the huge renovation anyway..but i dont mind moving into Poh Huat..provided i get to do up my own room. Hur..and visit Grace everyday!! Yeah..

Studied with Liyu at her place today. Haha..her cat-kitty's so fierce!!! Rahz! Pretty productive but tiring day. =)) Can't wait to go out with her after exams!! Ahh...S.O.U.L. gathering's a must!!

You can hold back from the suffering of the world, you've free permission to do so, and it is in accordance with your nature, but perhaps this very holding back is the one suffering you could have avoided..

Fav neoz.. 

Jie, Me and lil' sista have decided to take over Dad's company after we each fulfil our own dreams. Strangely, that's the big meeting during lunch. Family business to be handled by us sisters. We used to be nonchalent about the whole business thing. I'm not exactly interested but oh well, business management sounds okay to me now.

Primetime news: Owen, the jack russell dog over at my other house passed away. And i've decided to change the hamster's name from pussycat to polarbear. She's just getting rounder evidently..

I miss my Papa..wonder how's he in heaven..sometimes, the image of his chest not moving anymore, goes on repeat mode in my mind. And i can't help but feel miserable..

A man once said this: We ought to be afraid of those who day dreams.
I questioned myself 'why'. For it definitely seems foolish to just dream.
Then the man continued: Their dreams might turn into reality. In comparison, those who dreams at night, they wake up and forgot about their dreams.
I went silent..then burst out laughing. -_-
Anyone care to differ??

-scampers off-

Coffebean Card

Econs mock exam wasnt xactly like a mock exam? Mother Sim went out of the LT and it became some talking session after 55mins..oh wells..

Anyways, happy 18th birthday to Amanda, Sheryldine and Szejia! =))

The list

Okay..i know i shouldnt be thinking abt what i wanna do after exams now. But..i think i just did..

1) Continue with violin lessons..want my diploma..
2) Catch up with secondary and 1st 3 months friends
3) Find my faith back
4) Go to Australia with Cheryl for holiday
5) Trip to Bali and Genting/KL and Australia with otehr friends
6) Go back to PLMGS choir and help them with SYF
7) Hit the pool and gym and squash court
8) Investing in good books..which means travelling to BORDERS more often
9) Get as many jobs so i can stay out and not go home? Haha..
10) Christmas kettling with Salvation Army
11) Time-out with Dars and my girlies. No need spell out names..u all know lar huh =))
12) Zoukout! Cheeky's and Chinablack!!!
13) Surfing and wakeboarding lessons part2
14) Rent hell lotsa VCDS and die a couch potato
15) Re-design my house. Huge renovation coming before CNY05
16) Sentosa! Haha..have to keep travellin before i start paying adult fares

Sister and Mum decided to combine some cash and buy a small car..cool huh..i'll get ferried around. Haha.

Coffeebean

Was cramming at Hougang Point's Coffeebean yesterday. Saw many SRJCians. That includes Deming and Amanda who came to chat with me.. =)) Some of the guys think its so cool to smoke..yea..smoke till u rot inside out..see if you still can shake ur freaking legs! It aint cool at all lar..bascially just a put up a show infront of ur beng friends right. Why do this to urself. Actually, im the worst one. I was breathing in 2nd-hand smoke from 2.30pm till 7.30pm yesterday. How can smoking actually make u feel better?? But studying alone is indeed more productive.

This examination's gonna be over soon. I seriously needa focus more. Dont even dare to put what i aim down. Just wanna get into the faculty i want..and i believe it aint that impossible. =)

No, living forever won't add more meaning to life. What's considered as meaningful anyway..

Ex-neigbour

So, adding on to my previous entry, i think YongYi has matured alot through army. But still as crappy and corny. He made me laugh throughout his entire visit! Hurs. What impressed me his stand towards relationship. I asked him when he is gonna get a girlfriend. He casually replied: what i earn enough to support her. Wow..i was totally WOW! Then he shared alot on SAF and MINDEF stuff..learnt more and some army politics. Haiz..kinda pityful actually. He kindly drove me to heartland after that and sent my elder sister all the way to Orchard.

YongYi was my ex-neighbour for about 13 years or so? Have been on good terms with their family all along. Haha. Missed those days whereby we'd play along the corridoor or run from one house to the other. Childhood was complete with them around. =)

Anyways, im back to writing my diary. Realised that i wrote very few entries in that book. The year's ending!! And im still on the same diary since the year started. Am i really that busy?? A diary to look back on certainly brings back many many memories.. =))

After-paper

Haha..i said a short prayer to God once they said "Candidates, you may begin now." Was a rather smooth paper i believe. No reason to fail or get grades like D/E. My tutor will be the first to kill me if i dont get B. Anyways, thats just paper1. Therefore, i still have paper2 to 'rely' on. =))

small angle approximation-general solutions-vectors-integration via substitution-inequalities-linear interpolation-mathematic induction-3D trigo-permutation and combination-functions-binomial expansion-complex nos-partial fractions-differentiation for stat points-1st order DE

So guess whats left for SectionA of paper2? Most probably focussing on:

curves-logarithmic-notation-more integration and differentiation

I'm having a slight headache. Which comes about after every Math paper. Alrights..i have a week to prepare for Lit papers1/8 and Math paper2 and Economics paper3.

My stupid ex-neighbour at my place now. He just blocked my "flow of air". Haha..army boy..actually, i think he looks much cuter than before. =))

Math tmr

Ask me if im afraid of tomorrow's Mathematics paper1... My only hope for an A actually.

I might needa miracle..

Old flame

My lil' sister got NOKIA 6230??!!! She said she wanted it and my Mum bought it for her. Gootness..Shuming..im suffering from 2nd-child-syndrome. Haha.

gooTness..i saw Weicai yesterday. His teeth's still so white! As if the chlorine in the pool bleached them! Haha..imagine if Guixian was there with me.. =)) Talking about that girly of mines, i kinda missed her. We live so near each other but hardly bummed into each other or msg each other unless there's some hot topic to share..hhmm..she was Maurice's "mortal" back in SRJC20031st3mths..gotta meet her out! =))

Okies..Mum's not bringing me to Cambodia anymore. She said she'll bring me to Moscow instead. Haiz..whatever..asked her about my Bali trip again. She asked how many going and said that i can go. But she added that we'll book tickets only after As..sigh..whats wrong with Mum..or me?

Slept at Mama's house 2 nights ago. Couldnt get to sleep well..was thinking of Papa throughout the night. Looked out at the living room from the bed and imagined Papa sitting there reading his papers, scribbling chinese characters, struggling to open the door for us when we come visit him. Then the scene switched to him on the bed..tired and weary..waiting and waiting. A few times he asked for coffee (his fav drink) but of course he can't have them. Mama and I have to lie to him that we'll give it to him. We never did, and of course he never got to drink them..for the last time. Thinking back, he was ill for only 10months or so. Never did we realise he might just leave us. Just liddat. It wasnt sudden, but we didnt expect it either. You know..we thought the illness will drag for a year or so..no..how wrong are we. Thinking, tearing, yearning for him to be close to me..then i fell asleep.. )'=

Seminar was okie..cliche stuff mentioned and i think my Mum shld attend instead of my lil's sis and me. Haha..Dad's paying my lil' sis $20 per accounts done during this hols..sigh..where's my income gonna come from then? Talking abt income, our family income definitely grew for this month. Yay..new sofa!!! =))

I'm feeling motivated today. Suddenly, Mathematics's speaking to me. Having solved one question is great..another and another..weee! Tuesday will be the day i prove my worth in Mathematics. =))

So its 26th nov morning till 29th nov evening and 23rd dec to 28th dec. Will try to see if Mum allows me to stay in Singapore for Christmas. =)

Mass was okie yesterday. Knew all the hymns..that woman can really "viberate" her voooiceee soooo mmmuch. Was praying for Papa..then i got lost after sayin the prayer once...
)'=

Shift the seminar to my schedule for today. 2pm to 4pm at some hotel..in an hour's time im suppose to have tuition. Haiz..think i better focus more on Math..wanna do well for it..my only hope..if not, probability i'll fail is 1. Haha..no no..

-goes off to sing Mandy Moore's Only Hope-

GP paper

Paper was ok i believe. At least was better than last year's? Nothing much to complain about. I chose "To what extent are the young in Singapore favoured at the expense of the elderly". Heh..got a lot to discuss on.. felt good after the paper. Science people found it tough. Good..then will have moderation. Haha..next paper on Tuesday..MATHEMATICS! -grinz

Tomorrow got Mass. Shall reach there earlier with Mama..then can go see and pray for Papa at the columbrium. Which after, i have to go for some seminar at 7.30pm with my sister. Mum passed me 2 complimentary tickets to Dr Ernest Wong's seminar. Might as well go. It's on how to develop super memory, brain dominance, learning style, suggestology and performance shit. =))

Mum was caressing me today..while i was practising math. Got a shock. This caress is a kinda pressure. Haiz..whenever since did a mother's touch become a form of pressure. -shrugs-

Mum: -stammers- How's ur exams? -looking down on my work-
Me: Oh..okie lor..GP was okie..other subjects might not be.. -looks into mum's hands while staring at her stroking my back-
Mum: So...erm..
Me: Mummy, why are you so nice to me suddenly??
Mum: You having exams ah..hahaa..
Elder sis: Shuling in university study till she wanna commit suicide leh mummy..
Mum: Yeah lar..cannot study too hard..
Me: Yea..later i go jump down buildin. Hhaa..
Mum: You jump down building, you think i scared of you ar?? You better do well!!
Me: -_-lll


Haha..she gave me some tailsman..yes..my entire family's religion is a little screwed up. Highlights "choice and freedom" Haha..i told her i burnt it after i came home. She was like "WHAT?" So she said i was supposed to burn it before i head to school for exams..she said i left the *general* some type of God at home waitin for me to bring it to school..haha..and i left for exams without *bringing the general* to school. Haha...nearly died after laughing so hard!

Of course ultimately, i still believe in God.. =)) Just dont wanna upset my Mum's kind intentions..She's draggin me to Thailand and Cambodia from 23rd Dec to 28thDec...sigh..not my type of place. But i'll just please her.. =))

Traurmatised

I was putting back my GP notes in the file with a felt a light "brush" across my fingers. Guess what???

LIZARD!!!!

Yes..i know its just a cold-blooded thing..but im totally yucky abt such stuff. Yelled and screamed..so gross? Coming to such close proximity with a lizard. *yucks* My elder sister acted like a good sister to me throughout this whole thing. Haha. Funny.

My faint heart cannot take such nonsense. Haha..finally after much struggle with an umbrella and my squash racket, my maid caught the freaking liazrd. End of heart attack, back to GP. x_x

Mass

I missed Mass today. It's a day to commemorate souls. Of course i didnt forget my Papa. Sister said she saw a family kneeing on the floor crying. A father, 2 young sons lost their wife/mother recently this year. How sad.. )'= Havent been praying for Papa. High time to do so..

Alright peeps..one day more. We can do it. =))

You told me

Papa..i miss you..watch over me will you?? Like you've always been doin?? I need you for my upcoming exams..feel like cryin suddenly..just where in the world (or out of the world) are you..can you hear me??

Melly..im such an asshole..shall sweep everything off my head and focus focus focus on my papers. Looking fwd to our first trip abroad TOGETHER. =)) love-love too..

Wanna Break Free

I hate my mom. I just dont understand. Why am i more afraid of her than of God?? Why can't she let me go? I know my priorities. Dont keep tellin me to do things your way. I wanna live for myself. Not for anyone. Yes, you gave me life. But not because you wanted to. Dont peach to me that my mom loves me and all. You think she seriously does? I havent quite seen a mother like mine. She lives for herself. Nobody else. She's like a caged-bird waiting to break free from the family. Whatever, i dont give a piece of shit about you. Be thankful i even have the energy to be pissed at you mom. If i die anytime soon, you'll be damned for the rest of your life. Cause you didnt give me what i want. Its not unreasonable can? You just want things your way. It doesnt make sense like half the time. We keep giving in to you. Cause your voice is so powerful. More powerful than God's. Love comes with hate. And i hate you.

And you. Who do you take me for? Come as and when you want. I wont be here all the time. Be grateful i can't let you go for the time being. When i can, dont come cryin to me. I understand what you're doing cause im doing it as well. Its human nature. But there's a limit to everything. Im angry and upset now. But my mood changes each minute. Hour. Day. Yes, i jolly well know i wont be angry at you for long. Think im a weakling. Will i ever be able to let you go one day. Dont know, i all i can say. Isnt that what you can say as well? Thats what both of us can say the best. Mutually doing something at a spur of moment and then everything might just disappear the next. I dont mind. Of course we avoid certain topics. I dont wanna touch on it as well. I'm growing to be like you. And i just friggin realised that. Shit.

You. Dont ask me if im ok. I am. About my blog, dont ask if i dont tell you. Can get irritating if people fuss over my blog content. I know you care. But sometimes, leavin me alone does help me. Haha. Saw that show. Guess what? Think i understand a bit more. You gave alot, but yet can't help feeling vulnerable. Yes. I got what they meant. Im feel like this too sometimes. Not for you, but on a certain someone. Guess you can tell. I rather hurt someone than to risk getting hurt myself. Im selfish. So what?

My life is normal. But it can be like rotten corpse when i dig every piece of shit out of "behind my head". Fcukit. That's the problem when i keep escaping. Im obsessed with escaping. I love that kinda feelin No gor, im NOT in love. Just mad. =)) Hurhur.